Beowulf (2007)

Repost from 27/11/07:

Err expected too much and ended up with so little.

Another fantasy epic Beowulf movie. I have actually seen maybe about four different adaptations of this movie. Most have different plots and storyline, but the characters stay the same. Of all the Beowulf movies I have seen, the most memorable one would have to be the one that starred the infamous Christopher Lambert. That one got me glued to the story. And I thought that that side of the story was the more accurate one. The plot kind of differs to this new movie, I suppose. Another thing that made that 1999 movie memorable because of Rhona Mitra. She is the voluptous vixen who amazed all of us with her gigantic knockers in the movie, Hollow Man. She was the "peeped by the tom" who had a voyeuristic nude scene with Kevin Bacon as the invisible rapist. Another Beowulf adaptation I've seen recently was one (I'm not sure where I saw it -- if it's in HBO, Cinemax, or Hallmark Channel) with another storyline. There the actors were not really popular, and Unferth, who was played by the sly John Malkovich in this 2007 adaptation, was actually Beowulf's right-hand man there. He even fell in love with the daughter of the king, Hrothgar. In this movie, he was sort of like a semi-demon. A villain of some sort, which in the latter part of the movie reconciled with the protagonist. He was like the powerless trashtalker, so to speak. Anthony Hopkins played Hrothgar, the king of the cursed Denmark kingdom. It's hard to judge the acting because of the surrealistic effect of 3D. It's hard to determine if what you see is real acting or a twitch of computer animation. But it was amazing, I tell you. Crispin Glover played the role of Grendel but his appearance was not clear because of the tremendous unlikely appearance of the role, and here they depicted Grendel as somewhat a momma's boy "monstah" (I used this word because I remembered what Beowulf said when he first arrived, 'I'm here to kill your monstah!' Sort of like Arnold Schwarzenegger accent), not so scary because he acts wussy unlike in the 1999 adaptation where Grendel was BADASS. Angelina Jolie was eye-catching here although, again, it's hard to see the realism of the actors because of the graphic. Her lips were one I noticed most. So crunchy.

If you love fight scenes, there's not much to see really but the fight in the end with Beowulf's sin child was a good 10 minutes. I abhor the fight scene between Beowulf and Grendel because WTF WAS HE DOING FIGHTING GRENDEL NAKED?! SHEESH I WAS SO DISTRACTED TO NOT SEE THE WHATNOT TO BE SEEN BUT I CAN'T HELP BECAUSE.. ACK! Just terrible.

The queen was hot also, I forgot to mention. I have seen this lady for the first time and I can't picture her face realistically because of the computer graphics!

Overall: 3.5/5